


His kiss heals me

by MabelDiangelo1228



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Bonrin EVERYWHERE, Doubtful. Rin, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Litteraly no idea what the fuck I'm doing., M/M, Mentioned suicide, Our Rooster is oddly calming, Panic Attacks, Pre Kyoto Arc, Rated for suicide mention, Set after the Reveal, sad rin, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-10-05 11:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10305584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MabelDiangelo1228/pseuds/MabelDiangelo1228
Summary: Rin is having serious doubts that his friends will ever come to accept him.  A certain Rooster helps clear this up. Story is much better than the summary. But what do I know?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TrashQueenOfficial](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashQueenOfficial/gifts).



> I've decided to gift this to the awesome writer TrashQueenOfficial because she is the reason this story exists.

Rin ran through the hallway. There were nobody who truly wanted him back. He knew it already somehow, but had never accepted it. Inside him there was still a spark of hope, that the others would had truly accepted him, no matter what he was. He was a demon, he was Satan's spawn, but he still was raised as a human... Well he thought so. He didn't have a demonic personality, but nobody cared. Nobody wanted to understand that he wasn't a demon.That he knew. Based off of today's recent fight with Bo-... No Ryuji, anyway. It felt like everybody hated him. But it was familiar to him, that he was hated. But losing his friends had torn him apart. 

He wanted to go away. Run away from the pain.  
He wanted to kill Satan and disappear.  
The eyes were hidden by his navy hair while he stood at the edge of his dorm's roof. He looked at the town. He loved that town. Here he had made his first friends, learned how to trust others.

Where had it gone?  
His sight became blurred and something warm was running down his cheeks. He raise a had to his face and found the tips of his fingers wet. He was crying. He had to stop before anyone found him. But he couldn't stop it. He couldn't hid away his feelings like always. Not when he felt like the world was crumbling down around him. . He felt his knees buckle, he kept look down on the town through his blurred eye sight.

Everyone hated him. He hated himself. How did he become like this? He just wanted to protect everyone from Amaimon. If he wasn't there... If he never came to this school...

He heard steps. Briefly he paused. Someone was coming up here? Maybe Yukio? But why? No, Yukio wasn't in the dorm, he had headed to the cram school, preparing his class for tomorrow...  
He should hide. But when he tried to stand up, he staggered. His legs couldn't support his weight, he was just so tired. 

Below him the steps got louder and they sounded very fast. The door burst open and there He stood. He being Suguro "Bon" Ryuji. He wanted to search for Rin after what had happened. Bon paused when he saw Rin. His eyes widened, as well as Rin's. The shorter one turned around after realizing what happened and tried to ignore the older male. Why was he here? Could he just leave?

Ryuji was confused. Had he seen tears? But Rin never cried... Well, he had never seen him crying. He always thought Rin was a little nuisance. Always lazy and never paying attention in class, but he was one who would risk his own life for all of them. He always went alone during a fight, never letting the others know what was going on, or allowing them to help. Bon never understood it. He thought Rin had started trusting them. After he learned Rin's true origin, he believed the other one didn't trust them. Was he wrong?

He swallowed, looked down and wanted to leave. Maybe he should just give him some space. But when he reached out for the door handle, he glanced one more time at Rin. He still stood with his back to him. He seemed so... lonely.

Ryuji swallowed again, took a deep breath and walk over to where Rin was standing. Rin held his breath. Did Ryuji want to talk? Or did he want to hit him? Somehow he had to grin. He didn't turn around, but he began to talk.

“Do you think ... Everyone would be satisfied, if I fell down there?” There was an awkward silence. His heart pounded so fast it hurt. He hadn't wanted to ask something stupid like that, but he couldn't stop himself. He was curious what the other would do. Hit him? Reply to the question?  
He hoped that Ryuji would do something soon, the silence made him crazy. He closed his eyes when the other finally answered.

“Maybe.” The demon let his eyes close. They burned. “There's always someone who would be satisfied if one demon dies.” His voice... Rin missed it so much, but he couldn't let his feelings out. He felt the breath of the other hitting his neck. Rin's tail touched his legs. So close, he thought. He was so close.

Suddenly he was turned around and was being held on to by his collar, when Ryuji pushed him to the edge of the roof. He was angry... More than that. Rin looked in his eyes, where he saw his fury... but there was sadness in them too.

“But we trusted you!” Ryuji yelled. Rin flinched. They had trusted him... Had. He looked to the side. “You're... so selfish! You never thought what we would feel! You should have told us!"

Rin got angry too. Didn't Ryuji understand? They were fighting again. Of course, fighting wasn't a good sign but whenever they were fighting, Rin could get close to the taller one. But this time it was a completely different situation. He took a breath and looked at him.

“So what?” He ground out between his teeth. “You would've avoided me from the very beginning! You would have never hung around with me and I would always be alone then!” Bon still held him, but his expression softened a little bit. Rin laughed.

“I was used to being hated by everyone. Even if they knew what I was or not... But nevertheless...” Nevertheless he didn't wanted to be alone. He was selfish, but he always wanted to keep anybody from getting hurt.

“Let go.” He whispered. Suguro paused, when Rin said that and he leaned back a little. Maybe it was the better choice. He still looked at him. “I don't care anymore. Finish it.”  
The taller one glanced at his hands. He still held Rin by his collar. He could let him go and Rin would fall to the ground. If he didn't do anything against it, he could die. But he didn't want what would happen. If Rin wasn't there anymore...

For Rin it took to much time, so he gripped Ryuji's hands and took a step back... then he felt something warm on himself. He laid in Ryuji's arms. Bon had gripped his hands and pulled him against him. He fell back on to the ground, but he didn't care about thatt. He held Rin in his arms, didn't want to let him go. But Rin didn't understand it.

“Suguro...?”

“Ya idiot!” The taller yelled. Rin flinched. “If you don't care, why're ya' cryin'?!”  
The shorter one glanced at him with a disbelieving expression. When he touched his cheeks, he felt it wet. He didn't realized that he was crying again. And Suguro had seen it the whole time? Bon shook his head.  
"Maybe yer right. Maybe we would've avoided you.“ He started to talk and took a deep breath, then he continued. "But you could've convinced us. You could've proven to us that you aren't a bad demon! There would be many possibilities!“

"Could you have accepted me?! I am Satan's spawn and Satan killed Konekomaru's parents, Shima's brother, and your grandfather!“ Rin wanted to get away. He didn't wanted to stay here, even if he would miss being near to the other. But if he were to stay here, his heart would be torn up. He couldn't take it anymore. 

"It would be better if you hate me.“

"Yeah... it would.“ Bon said, looking down. He hadn't let him go. Sadness grew in his eyes. Rin paused. Then the brunette bent down and touched Rin's lips with his owns. Rin's eyes grew. Did thatt really happen? Did Bon really... kiss him? Bon went off again. 

“Maybe it would be right...” He said, avoiding his glance. “But... I care about you. As a demon or a human...It doesn't matter. ”

Rin's heart jumped once. He cared about him? How does he respond to this? And – what did the kiss mean? When he still said nothing, Suguro got nervous. He lifted his hand and laid it on Rin's cheek. Rin leaned into the touch.

“I... never hated ya' for being Satan's spawn.” He started and looked in the oceanic blue eyes of the other. “I was angry, because you wanted to deal with it by yerself. You never wanted others to help ya. Even though you're Satan's spawn, your flames don't hurt us! You always risk your life for us! For everyone of us!”

Rin couldn't take it anymore. His tears flew over his cheeks and his strength left him. He felt so weak and his heart was nearly breaking. He always thought everyone hated him for being Satan's son. And now he was learning that Ryuji was only angry at him because he didn't tell them? But at the same time it was a new world for him. He had friends who cared about him. And he only wanted to protect them from getting hurt.

“Sugu-”

“Listen. You are strong because you are Satan's son and you don't want to draw us in to the danger that causes. But we're all the same. We have the same goal and we're friends! You should tell us everything!”

“Su...” Ryuji sighed. Rin was completely spent, so he embraced him again. He clung at his shirt and started to cry his feelings out. His whole body trembled when he took deep breathes, but he didn't harbor that feeling of loneliness anymore. Strong arms held him and he was surrounded by the warm of the other one.  
“I'm... sorry...” He said. “I... I don't want to hurt you... I just wanted to protect you...”

“Idiot... We all protect each other. We're friends, you know...”

Minutes, possibly hours, had gone by. Finally Rin had stopped crying and he sat up, glancing at Bon. 

“I am amazed how long you can cry.” Rin got offended and inflated his cheeks, when he saw Bon smiling. Rin blushed a bit and lowered his head.

“Uhm... Suguro?”

“Hm?”

“I understood it all... but there is one thing...”

“Which one?”

“The... well... the... k... ki...”

“The what? Okumura, spit it-”

“The kiss!” Silence... Rin was red in his face and didn't dare to look up. But when it was silent for too long he glanced at Ryuji. The rooster realized what he had done and his face became redder that Rin's. 

“Sugu-”

“W-Well, it was... ehm... it...” He stammered and searched after words. Rin eyed him with anticipation. His tail waved around, then he lowered his eyes.

“Can you do it again?”

“Well, that's...” Suguro paused when he looked at Rin. He seemed to wait for it. Did he liked it? “We shouldn't do it, not atleast until we know both of us like each other like that...” Rin looked up.

“So you like me?”

“Eh?! Well...”

“Tell me!”

“Argh, just shut up!” Totally ashamed he pulled the little one to him and kissed him again. To shut him up. Rin closed his eyes and enjoyed that closeness, while Suguro watched his tail moving around like a dog's tail when the animal was happy. Did it count to Rin as well? Was he happy? Was he... When they separated, Rin wanted to feel his lips against Ryuji's again, but Bon laid a finger on his lips. He shook his head.

“Okumu-”

“You're sure that you should call me that after the kiss?” he asked pouted.

“Eh? What should I call you then after-” Rin was grinning and kissed him again. It was a short kiss, but he jumped up and reached out his hands.

“Let's eat something, Ryu~uji!” The red on his face got darker. He gripped his hands but he pulled Rin against him and pushed him against the ground. He laid his lips against the other ones and his tongue was studying his mouth. He laid on Rin and their hands were hooked into each other. Rin's tongue poked Ryuji's and played with it. He tasted sweet, Rin thought and pulled on the jacket of the other to get closer to him.

After a few minutes of this, they separated gasping for breath. Rin felt the heat and got a bit dizzy. He still was grinning and his fangs were showing. Suguro stroked a streak of hair out of Rin's face and smiled.

“Rin...” He breathed. The other one trembled by the sound of his voice. But he liked it.

“Say it again.”

“Rin... I love you.” Rin was surprised, when he heard it.

“You... Are you serious?!”

“Of course! There's nothing about that that's a joke! And... I know it sounds strange, because we are both males, but... I like you much, Rin." Ryuji hated Satan, but loved his spawn. It was a contradiction, but Rin was happy. Very happy. His cheeks flushed, before he started to giggle. He laid his arms around Ryuuji's neck and touched his nose with his own.

“I love you too, Ryuji. Thank you for not giving up on me...” He whispered. Then he kissed his friend softly and Suguro had to smile while he replied to the kiss.


	2. A/n

I kinda wanted to know if you guys wanted me to expand this story? I was think one-shots but I could always do a continuation of this by request

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No pressure


	3. Chapter 3

So I've decided that this will become a "first kiss senerio" one shot collection. I'm looking or requests. As for the second one shot that will happen tomorrow. I've been up until 2:30 in the morning for like 5 days now and I get up a 5-5:30 so I'm half dead and need to sleep before I crash.


	4. Special 2-shot Chapter!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special 2 chapter one because Holy Satan! Almost 1000 reads! Some swearing. Don't like don't read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! I never expected this to get so popular!!! Now it's almost 1000 hits! I'm soo happy I'm approved of! Literaly I was like acting super depressed today and then I saw this!!! I'm so happy!! (Legit crying)

Bon was right. My flames can hurt people. I could have killed Konekomaru for fucks sake! Maybe...Maybe Bon was right. I should just disappear.

“Riiin! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Kuro. I just...I just need some time to think.” I curled up on my side facing the wall. 

I am a monster. Why am I even here? Everyone would be better if I was just gone.

I squeezed my eyes shut feeling the tears leak out. I’m so weak. Crying over the truth. Maybe if I was a better person. Maybe if my life wasn’t this eternal downward spiral of suck I wouldn’t be going through this. They were my first true friends. And I just had to screw that up by revealing myself. But then Amaimon would have killed them! Why couldn’t they see that?! I was just trying to protect them. I sobbed harder. I can’t breath. There’s a pressure settling on my chest like every other time I’ve thought about it.

Just then I heard a rattling of the door knob. I had locked it earlier to keep out Yukio. He can’t see his nii-san slowly breaking apart.

“Go away Yukio!” My voice barely came out as more than a whisper. Days of near silence made it impossible to talk.

“It’s not yer brother.” I sat up eyes widening. Nonononono. Please leave. Just please leave me alone.

“W-what do you w-want?” Why was he here? He was just going to hurt me more! Blame me for the Blue Night.

I could hear him banging on the door. “Open the fucking door, Okumura!”

“W-why should I? You’re j-just gonna tell me how much of a d-demon I am.” I was scared. He sounded angry banging on the door like that. Then all of the sudden it stopped.

“Look Oku-Rin. I was wrong. You had no intention of hurtin’ Koneko. An' yer a good guy. I was just too stupid to see it. Now will ya open the goddamned door?!”

He...Was apologizing? This had to be a trap it was going to be like Shiratori. But I opened the door to be tackled in a hug.

“Thank god yer okay.” He mumbled into my hair.

Wait what?!


	5. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, wow. I'm finally getting around to finishing this 2 shot? Wow

Last Time: “Thank god yer okay.” He mumbled into my hair.

Wait what?!

Rin's POV

"S-Suguro?" This was not normal. Why did he care all of the sudden? Just another trick. Just like Shiratori. Exactly like him.... 

Horror flooded into my entire being. I struggled to push back from Suguro. He was going to try and hurt me. That's why he was close. He wasn't worried about me. He was trying to catch me off guard. 

"Rin? What's th' matter? You look like you you've seen a ghost." He advanced. No. Stay back. I backed into the corner trying to stay far from him. He was going to hurt me. I didn't want that

"S-stay away! D-don't t-touch me!" I could feel myself shivering. And it felt like my lungs had shriveled up in my chest. Hyperventilating, I crumpled onto my knees and tried to slow my breathing. But the closer Suguro got, the harder it was for me to breath.

"Rin. Look at me." He was suddenly crouched in front of me forcing me to look into his eyes. "Ya need to breath. Come on do it with me." 

He brought me hand to his chest and breathed in deeply. Breathing in for seven seconds, holding it for four seconds, and breathing out for eight.(This actually helps. I found this method of breathing in a Voltron fic and it helps me when I have the occasional panic attack when arguing with my dad) In seven, hold four, out eight. In, hold, out. In, hold, out.

"There ya go. Keep breathin'. Nothin's gonna hurt ya. Look me in th' eyes." I obliged some what hesitantly. I expected to see hate and fear in his eyes. I only saw worry, and determination, and love.

"Nothin's ever gonna hurt ya when I'm around. Got it? I would never let you get hurt. Much less 'cause of somethin' stupid I said. Forgive me?" He-he doesn't hate me. He wants me around. 

I throw my arms around his neck and bury my head in his shoulder and sob. He stiffens for a second before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. He kisses the top of my head.

"I've got ya'"


End file.
